It will motivate them to push forward and persist.Īmy Morin is a psychotherapist, editor-in-chief of Verywell Mind, and host of The Verywell Mind Podcast. And you can do it again.'Įach time they feel tempted to give up, tell them to go back to that letter. It can be a long note, or a short and simple one that says: 'I know things are tough, but you can do this because you've achieved challenging goals before.

Write a letter: Have your kid write a letter - filled with words of kindness and encouragement - to themselves. Often, they eventually succeed and discover that they're stronger than they initially thought. Mentally strong kids who persist will continue to work hard even when they don't feel like it. When it takes a while to reach a goal, or when you don't feel like putting in the hard work to succeed, your brain might try to convince you to give up.

'I don't really feel like doing that today, but I appreciate you asking.'.

'I'll have to check and get back to you.' (Use this if they need some time to think about it.).

'Thank you so much for inviting me, but I've got other plans.'.

'No, I'm not able to.' (You don't always need to offer a reason.).

Help them find the courage to say no by coming up with polite ways to turn someone down: If they decide they don't mind, then they can go ahead and say yes. For example, saying yes to a playdate at a friend's house might mean giving up time spent with siblings.Īsk them: 'Are you willing to give that thing up?' If they decide they don't want to, then say no. Try the 'give up' test: When your kid is faced with a decision to say yes or no, ask them what they will have to give up if they say yes. It also reduces the stress of having to commit to things they don't want to do. By finding the courage to do it more often, however, they'll find that it gets easier over time. Kids often struggle to say no because it can feel awkward and weird. But depending on the situation, choosing not to say yes makes you stronger. Everyone struggles to speak up, say no, or express their feelings once in a while.

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